As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Do you find yourself constantly scrolling social media, looking at the excellent or glamorous side of what people quite selectively chose to post? Most of us find ourselves down this rabbit hole one time or another, but for many of us, we do it too often, and it’s not a healthy obsession. It’s a downward spiral to low self-confidence and unhappiness. We know in the back of our minds we shouldn’t compare ourselves to what others have, do, or look like, but why is it so hard to disengage. Of course, it’s great to have goals and people who motivate and inspire us, but we must stay in our own lane and run our own race, it is only you vs you.
You’ve probably heard the saying ‘The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.’ Well, why do we continue to compare ourselves to others?
We compare ourselves when that voice inside our own mind starts to infiltrate our way of thinking, maybe we don’t think we are smart enough to have a particular career or start a business, we aren’t pretty or skinny enough to look a certain way or to be loved by someone. Like anything in life, tear yourself up enough and it starts to become embedded in your mind leaving you feeling lower and more than likely further away from where you want to be in life.
We tend to compare ourselves when we lack confidence or belief in ourselves. Trust me, I know it’s hard. And it is partly societies conditioning to blame – telling us what success is from the moment we are born; success is achieving great grades, going to university, getting married, having children… you get what I mean. BUT guess what? You are you and you can define your own definition of what success looks like to you.
When it comes to social media, we spend so much time worrying about how we look or how to get the perfect shot, when really, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, resentment and self-doubt.
How to catch yourself and break the cycle.
1. Accept Yourself
Acceptance is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of who you are. Dial-up that self-love in your life, do things for you that leaves you feeling happy empowered or motivated. I struggled with self-love for many years, I was constantly comparing myself to others, feeling like a constant failure because I didn’t have a partner, thinner thighs or more disposable income. I have now worked out, or you could say tailored myself love favorites. When I start to find myself slipping into comparison with others, I know I need some me time. Whether that’s a walk in nature, sometime in the sun, a relaxing magnesium bath, time with family and loved ones or a hard training session covered in sweat, nobody knows you better than you should know yourself. So only you can tailor yourself love needs.
2. Acknowledge your reality.
Awareness is key. It’s okay to not be where you want to be, acknowledge where you are now and where you aim to be. I find getting clear on what your intentions are can help you achieve or layout the stepping stones to get you there faster. No one is the same as you, no one has the same skills, experiences or circumstances as you do. The journey for your success with all the ups and the downs is an important part of the process. It should be acknowledged as you never know who your actions may inspire.
3. Keep Yourself Accountable.
Set some boundaries with yourself. For example, find people who inspire and motivate you to follow on social media. Continue to check in and ask yourself is this comparing to others serving me or leading me down a dark spiral. When you take time to check in with yourself, you are able to break the pattern faster. It isn’t always easy, but with practice and self-love, you can only get better and better.
4. Focus on your strengths and your own goals.
What are the things you are great at? Write them down. I like to write them on post-it notes around my room or on my mirror. Placing them somewhere you can see and read them to yourself is a great way of reprogramming your brain in a positive way. SELF LOVE!! Achieving goals are great, so set some. Make them specifically for you, then you can create a vision board or write them down. Each day focus positively on your goals but remember everything happens at the right time. So don’t lose sight, remain positive and enjoy the journey.
5. Raise others up, don't knock them down.
Make it your mission daily to try and make someone’s day, it can be as simple as a smile. There is so much going on in the world, mental health issues aren’t easy to spot, and some people can cover up there pain very well. A simple hello or a smile could really help if someone is struggling. I like to try and say a quick hello to people on my walk, I find it nice to acknowledge and be acknowledged by others in the real-world bubble, not the social media bubble.
6. Find new hobbies or passions for yourself.
This is an awesome step because when you find new passions or hobbies that bring you joy, you are swept up having fun and don’t have time to compare yourself to others. You need to be happy being you and a new hobby usually can leave you bursting to talk about it with anyone and everyone who will listen. Having passions and hobbies is a very attractive quality. My new hobby has become mountain bike riding as it incorporates my favourite self-love elements of exercising in nature and challenges me both physically and mentally, leaving me feeling so invigorated.
My overall take home message is to take notice of your thoughts and actions. Catch yourself comparing with others before the toxic thoughts multiply. Just be the best version of you and remember it is okay to make mistakes, it is how we learn. So do what you know until you know better and then do BETTER!
Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Remember, social media isn’t reality, and we can change the way we view it. The value of real-life interactions with others is more important, and not everything you see in the social media bubble is real.
Take one step at a time. You’ve got this.
Wolfffyy xxx
